To be okay
by BethanyDarkRose
Summary: Dick Grayson is happy but every now and again he has to breakdown. He has a breakdown in the Batcave surrounded by his family and they finally see what words and actions can do. This is a part 2 to my other story Scream. This can be read alone though. Hope the characters aren't too OOC


**AN: Hey, I was requested to make a part 2 to my other story Scream. You don't need to read Scream to understand this. Hope you enjoy and please review!**

Most of the time Dick was fine.

Of course, most of the time meaning, some of the time and fine meaning not falling apart… visibly

Every few months, Dick Grayson broke down in the privacy and comfort of his bedroom.

He would let things bottle up for months until he had to let it all out.

Sure, he knew it wasn't healthy but what was he supposed to do?

Let them see how insecure he is, how sad, how angry, how broken?

No.

When people hear the name Richard Grayson, they think of a handsome, young man smiling, laughing and loving.

And that's what he wants.

He wants people to think of him like that, to be remembered in that way.

He couldn't exactly be remembered like that if he let how he truly felt show.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

For months, Dick didn't freak out, he didn't break down, he didn't blow up.

He was okay.

Sure, things had happened: Wally's death, everything with Blockbuster, his rape, Damian's murder, his own death, Spyral, but none of it had caused him to break down.

Yes, he cried for those he lost but he didn't have a melt down.

6 months of nothing, no freak out, no breakdown, no blow up.

He was fine… or so he thought.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The week had been hard on him, hell the past year had been hard on him but this was different, he was different.

He was more irritable…

 _"Hey Dickiebird, come fight me."_

 _"No Jason."_

 _"Why? You chicken?" Jason taunted as he made chicken noises._

 _"Shut up Jason! Leave me alone!"_

More emotional…

" _The man was the only one who made it out, his whole family is dead, we need to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't do anything rash." Bruce stated stoically._

" _He just lost his entire family and you want us to watch him!? To look into him!? What the hell Bruce!"_

He wasn't eating…

" _Master Richard, you need to eat. You skipped dinner last night and breakfast is the most–"_

 _"Not hungry, Alfred."_

Wasn't sleeping…

" _Dick are you still up? You need sleep. How many hours is that 67?" Tim asked worried._

 _"Like you're one to talk! Why don't you do us all a favor and stop being such a hypocrite!" Dick barked._

They were all noticing a change… even Damian.

" _Todd, did you do something to Grayson?"_

 _"No brat, I didn't. Why do you always think it's me?"_

 _"You have always had it out for Grayson, Todd. Your jealousy is obvious." Damian scoffed._

A week of this went by with no change until the 'incident'.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Everyone was in the Bat Cave.

They were all working on the same case, the crime boss was a real threat to Gotham, and since the whole family was in town, they decided to pitch in.

Currently Tim and Damian were arguing about how to catch the boss off guard, Jason was ranting to Alfred about something Roy had done, and Bruce was typing away on his computer.

Normally, Dick would be right in the middle of it all. Trying to settle Tim and Damian's argument, trying to help Jason see Roy's point of view, and helping Bruce with research.

Tonight was different however. Dick had a killer migraine and every single noise made it worse.

Everything continued to get louder.

" _Drake! You imbecile…"_

 _"I mean can you believe him Alf?"_

 _"Shut up Demon Spawn!"_

 _*type type type type type type*_

 _Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock_

Everything seemed so loud.

Damian's words seemed meaner.

Tim's comebacks seemed harsher.

Jason's complaining made him furious.

Bruce's typing was more annoying than he ever remembered.

And when the hell did that clock get so damn loud!?

Everything at once was too loud, too much.

With a loud growl, Dick stood up and threw the batarang he was holding straight into the clock.

Then he turned around, covered his ears, and yelled as loud as he could, "EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

Everyone was silent and just watched Dick with shock and amazement.

He was breathing heavily due to throwing the batarang and yelling so harshly, but when his breathing should've been evening out it just continued to pick up speed.

Dick still had his hands clasped around his ears but his eyes grew wide when he realized that he couldn't catch his breath.

It clicked too late what was happening.

The freak out.

The panic.

The break down.

By now everyone had stopped what they were doing and was giving Dick their full attention.

" **Dick**?" Tim asked worried.

" _ **Dick**_ _, we are going to be best friends forever right?"_

 _"Duh, Wally. Best bros for life." 10 year old Dick laughed as his best friend hugged him._

"W-Wally." Dick mumbled miserably.

Jason began to approach his older brother when Bruce spoke up, " **Don't touch him** , he's having a panic attack."

" _ **Don't touch me**_ _...I'm poisonous numb."_

 _"Everything's alright, baby, it's all okay."_

He felt tears stream down his face as he tripped over his feet and fell backwards.

"Bruce, **we have to** help him… he can't breath." Tim exclaimed.

" _We all die. We're all going to die._ _ **We have to**_ _. It's part of it. But you didn't die did you? You just lied."_

He couldn't breath.

"L-Lied. I'm I'm s-sorry." Dick stuttered trying to catch his breath.

Tim had his hands up and was trying to approach Dick without him freaking out.

" **No, no, no** , Dick don't be sorry. Take deep breaths." Tim tried to instruct.

" _ **No No No**_ _."_

 _Damian's limp body laid there unmoving._

"Failed. I-I failed." Dick sobbed desperately.

By now Dick was underneath the desk and everyone one else was bent down. Jason and Bruce were crouching while Tim and Damian were trying to get closer to their terrified older brother and Alfred was getting a cold wash rag ready.

"Grayson, you didn't fail…" Damian muttered trying to inch closer.

He received another sob and fast nodding as a response.

"I failed you!" He sobbed.

"Dickiebird, how did you fail the brat?" Jason asked calmly, now also moving under the desk.

Dick pulled his legs up to his chest and he hiccuped as he cried loudly, "Died! You-you died. Wasn't fast enough."

Everyone shared glances as Bruce immediately came in with, "Dicky, that wasn't on you. His death was not your fault."

Dick glanced up and groaned in displeasure.

They don't understand.

"It's all my fault! All of it's my fault. Always. And Wally." He whined burying his head back in his knees.

"Dick, that's not on you." Tim tried again.

"IT IS!" He began to breathe harshly.

"I'm confused, what is it Grayson is upset about?" Damian said, looking at Bruce with desperation.

"I think it's everything."

"Dickhead, no one blames you for anything."

"Yes! Y-you do and and so does Tim."

Both Tim and Jason looked at eachother and then at Dick confused.

"Dick, we don't blame you for anything."

"You-you said that you couldn't t-trust me." He accused pointing to Tim.

"A-and you w-went to my funeral." He cried.

Tims faced morphed into one of complete plain as he realized what his older brother was talking about.

When Tim looked over at Jason, he realized that he understood as well.

"Dick, we didn't mean the things we said… we were just angry." Tim tried to comfort.

"All I do is screw everything up and m sorry. I'm s-so sorry." He cried some more.

Bruce looked down in disappointment at himself. He made Dick go into Spyral, he made Dick fake his death…even after all of it, he never checked to make sure Dick was handling everything okay.

Jason was mad, mad at himself, mad at the whole family. All of this was their fault, his fault. Dick Grayson, the happy, confident, flirtatious, hero was broken and none of them had noticed.

Tim had tears in his eyes as he continued to stare at his sobbing older brother. This was caused by him, by them. Tim didn't realize Dick remembered what he said. He wanted it to hurt him, but at the time, not after 4 months of dwelling on it.

Damian was scared. The man he looked up to. His older brother, his partner was hurting so much because of things he had done, things his family had done, and things villains had done. The fact that he played a part in it scared him.

They all sat in silence for a while thinking, until Dick had stopped crying and was now hiccuping and close to dozing off.

"Dicky? Nothing that has happened is on you. No one's death, nothing that's been done to you, and not even what you've done to others. I knew you were in a bad place when I asked you to fake your death, I pushed and pushed and pushed until you said yes. That's on me."

Bruce explained as he climbed under the desk and reached out for Dick.

Next was Tim, "Dick, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I was mad at you and I'm sorry. I wanted to hurt you because I was hurt. I didn't think you would take it all to heart."

Then Tim slowly leaned forward and hugged his older brother.

"Look Golden boy, I've never been good at the touchy feely crap but… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hit you and I didn't give you a break. I'm sorry." Jason said awkwardly yet sincerely.

"Look Grayson, I may have been harsh on some of the things I said to you while you were Batman… I just— I didn't mean— I apologize." Damian spoke.

Dick looked up at all of them and sighed.

"I didn't want you guys to apologize. I didn't want you guys to see my like this. It's my problem. I'm not good at facing my issues head on… it all just sort of hits me at once."

Before anyone could say anything else, Damian hugged his big brother.

The rest of the family's shock showed but next thing they knew Jason let a smirk snow and said, "What the hell?," as he hugged his older brother as well.

Tim was next, as he grabbed onto Dick's other side and last was Bruce.

He hugged them all together.

Dick wasn't okay most the time, but soon he would be because he has his family.

 **AN: Sorry if it was bad. I got reviews for a sequel and I tried. I hope you guys like it. Please review. It would make my day! I'm sorry if it was difficult to read.**

 **BethanyDarkRose out.**


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